Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day of the Omeniac 5: An Ominoous Return

An Ominous Return

"And the Book of Omen directs us to the Shrine of Shadow where upon we will find the Door to Twilight. Once there we will bathe in his courage!!!"

I look upon this WAVE audience and see half of the seats are empty. I am not reaching them.


I see an old Omen Maniac. He is wearing a Omeniac shirt from ten years ago. He is speaking to a youngster.

"Sorry John I did not think it would be like this."

"You said this Omeniac was really cool."

"I know I did John.... And he was. Oh you should of seen him when he fought Ransom Fortune. He picked him up over his head and threw him into the first row. It was crazy."

"Wow Ransom Fortune? what happened to him."

"I dunno John. He started some kinda church or something. Remember when aunt Linda became a Jehovah's Witness?"


"Something like that. Actually I'm not even sure its the same guy. He has his hair grown out and in a ponytail. My Omeniac would never wear a suit."

Hearing that breaks my chest. I stand in the aisle for what feels like days. I am losing my followers and my self respect. According to my sources Typhoon TV's ratings go down every time I do a sermon. Why did Johansen agree to this. My mind is swimming in confusion and the tide continues to rise.

I do not even notice two young men dressed like poultry running past me.

"Hailing from Satan's coop the Psycho Chickens!!!!!!"

They are starting the next bout. I should return to the locker room. I have paper work to fill out..... Is it any wonder he has abandoned me? Now two youngsters dressed like fish have attacked the two chickens.

"Hailing from Angry Waters The Murder Fish!!!!!!"

I watch as these undersized weaklings fight with all of their heart and being. They truly thirst for the battle. I was once like them. I had far greater power but I had the same fighting spirit.

As I walk to the back the arena lights go out. A green spotlight hits the ring and an organ starts playing. It is Doomsmith the WAVE champion. He brushes past me like I am nothing. Why is he attacking these youngsters? They are no threat to him.

The Fish since his immediate threat and attack. They display spirit greater than most. But spirit will not slay this monster. he headbutts the fish shattering his face in the process. The Fish's orange and blue mask is not crimson with life force.

The fish's partner attempts to save him. His feeble punches doing no damage to the one who slayed Ransom Fortune. This Doomsmith knocks the second Fish out with a single punch.

I should help. But I am here to preach not participate.


"You you have returned?"


"yes I see."

I am convulsing with his presence. His power... HIS WORD!!!!!!!!

The Doomsmith has one of these chickens by the throat. He has his leather glad fist pulled back. But before he can throw a punch I capture his hand.

The Green and Black Titan turns around. his eyes looking at the Omeniac with seeming amusement.



I tear my coat and dress shirt off. Revealing the mark of the Omeniac. My fist pump and i beat upon my chest. The Doomsmith tries to strike me with his fist but I block it and hit him with the power of a billion voids. I hit him again and again.

I run off the ropes building momentum until I unleash a clothesline worthy of the one who I serve. The Doomsmith does not fall. Again I unleash upon him and he staggers back but never falls. I prepare for one last strike when his hand grasp my throat. The air leaves my lungs. I prepare to embrace unconsciousness.




My arm gains life. I wrap my hand around the Doomsmith's thick neck.


My other arm gains life and I wrap my other hand around the nexk of Doomsmith. I feel Doomsmith's essence fading. When he headbutts me with his cast iron mask. I fall to the ground. I look upon my hand and it is covered in life force. I require oblivion.


I rise to my feet and tackle the Doomsmith. We are a hurricane of fist and fury. Soon we are attacked by security. Who are these ants who seek to stop my righteous cause? I attack them as if they are Doomsmith. As I throw the last security interloper over the top rope, I see Doomsmith is gone.

I snatch a microphone from the overstuffed ring announcer.

"Pant, Pant, Pant.... Know this Doomsmith. You may have escaped the wrath of the Omeniac for now. I will slay you once and for all. IT IS WRITTEN!!!!!!!!!!"

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day of the Omeniac 6: Collective Confusion

Collective Confusion

I was afraid this day would come. The kid had a rematch clause in his contract. So I have to defend the DEATHcore championship against him. It's Sergent Sargent vs the Overdog. I betrayed him in Caged Hate and took his first real Professional Wrestling Championship.

The kid has had me on the ropes most of the match. Using moves I have never
seen from him before. He hit me with a corkscrew moonsault and got a four count.

Later I started making a comeback by hitting him with my Kaiser helmet. I jumped off the top rope and he press slammed me into a bed of nails. Losing too much blood. I hit him with the butt of my service revolver and his head came off........ I look down and his skull looks like a......a..... Necronoid?

I look around and I'm back at the rendering plant in NAM. I see someone in a cloak digging a hole. He's taking out the championships I buried.

"Do not look so surprised Sergent. Did you think my defeat was final?"

Professor Necro? He was the bad guy on my old cartoon.

"You're not real."

"Is that so Sergent? I'm standing and talking to you. I'm holding these cheap gaudy belts you discarded without a thought. As quickly as you discarded that idiot child."

Real or not I'm going to shut this clown up. I pick up my laser bayonet and cut him in two. I look down at the robe and nothing is there. I get punched in the back of the head and fly thru a wall.

It's the kid, His face is rotting away.

"I told you Sergent. Professor Necro can never be defeated. You will
give me what is mine."

Necro/Overdog's rotting hand goes thru my chest and rips out my heart. But he's
not holding my heart. It's a shard of Oblivorex.

"There wasn't that delightful, and don't you feel better too?"


Fuck I fell I asleep in the CCW locker room. I'm covered in blood. Now I remember I lost a shard of glass death match against the Combat Collective Champion Cell Blok.

This has been the pattern since I got here in December. I made my debut by attack the Combat Collective World Champion Jason Dixon and the Gorkilla during their title match.

A Three Way fight was scheduled for the Origin of Violence show it would be me
(Sergent Sargent) vs Gorkilla vs Jason Dixon.

My DEATHcore title and Dixon's CCW title would be on the line. Then Dixon no showed a title defense against me in Knoxville Tennessee. This seemed out of character to the guys who knew Dixon. Even Dixon's flunkies Power Keg and Stormer Barnes had no idea what happened to him.

So I defended my belt against Exit Wound all over the circuit for a week.

I go to watch WAVE's Typhoon TV and see Dixon ambush $extillion $inclair. $inclair is bleeding all over his pink and gold wrestling gear. Dixion picks up the mic and starts screaming about being a true Dynasty and not representing a promotion on its last legs. Only thing missing was him dumping the CCW title in the trash.

Next day I get to the Nashville Fairgrounds wondering how this will affect me.
Getting a cheap thrill out of the misery this is causing for Clayton
Wyles. The little creep burst into the locker room covered in cuts and bruises.

"God Damn Wyles what the blue fuck happened to you?"

"I got the CCW World Belt from Jason Dixon. I treat that ingrate like my son and nurture his talent and he abandons me. Just because his paychecks were a little late."

"How late Wyles?"

"Just a week or two or....."

I was smart to make him pay me upfront.

"Wyles what are you going to do about the title. You need to schedule a

"That takes too long. We need a champion for Origin. I was thinking I
could award the belt to you tonight."

"Look you little shit. I don't do things like that. I'm not gonna be
labeled a paper champion because you can't wait for a tournament."

"Okay okay we have a battle royal tonight. you'll be the number one seed."

"Not entering a battle royal for a World title. Battle Royal's are brutal and difficult to win, but they can be manipulated. I seem to remember you winning a Battle Royal at Wrestle Reign 5. It got down to you and your team the Up Stars. They eliminated themselves so you could win."

"I have to do the battle royal. I can't wait."

"I'm not entering it. I'll kick the shit out of whoever wins."

They had the battle royal that night. Cell Blok eliminated Gorkilla and
TerroRantula to win the Combat Collective World title.

It was now me vs Gorkilla vs Cell Blok at Origin of Violence. That is until a week later.

"Nononononono. Why???"

"What are you blubbering about now Wyles? Government found out you were on
the free lunch program?"

"No I still got that. Gorkilla signed with W*RE. He debuted last night as a
mystery partner of Alex Thomas and Bingwen to fight the Tribe Called Fist."

"How the hell did you lose track of one of your main eventers?"

"Well things came up."

"Same thing that kept you from paying your World Champion on time?"

So Origin of Violence main event changed again. This time its just me
vs Cell Blok.

He defended the CCW World title against me. No excuses I underestimated Cell Blok and he cleaned my clock. I got chokeslammed thru a burning table.

We had a rematch at the "Cries of March" show. This time I was prepared. Every night we wrestled I learned another weakness. The big one being the guy just can't wrestle. Oh don't get me wrong, the big fucker can fight. He can take punishment, but put him on the mat in basic wrestling holds and he's lost.

The second the bell rang I took him to the mat and kept him there. I worked his
arm and neck over most of the match. He would fight his way up only for me to drop him again. Most men either lack the size or skill to do this to Cell Blok. But I'm not most men. The fans were getting pissy around the nineteen minute mark.


"Chant all you want, ain't changin anything!!!!"

I knew this would not finish off Cell Blok. Eventually he was going to get back to his feet. He was also going to be frustrated and swinging wild. He powered out of the Sargelock and hit me with his finisher "The Shank". He could of pinned me and won the DEATHcore title.

Instead this psycho took out a piece of glass and cut me up. He wants to repeat what he did at Origin of Violence. I was counting on this. As he sets up the table, I take the Bayonet out of my pocket. Cell Blok grabs me by the throat and I put it right between his eyes.


I powerbomb him thru the fucking table and pin him for three.

"24 minutes, nineteen seconds, the winner and still DEATHcore Champion Seeeeerrrrrrrrgant Sarrrrrrgsaaant!!!!!!!"

"Sarge!!!! Sarge!!!! Sarge!!!!"

Now the idiots like me again.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


Undertaker vs Justin Hawk Bradshaw Monday Night Raw April 1st 1996

This match is from the night after Wrestlemania XII. They are playing up that Taker is hurt after his match with Diesel, so Bradshaw might be able to win. Bradshaw tears into Taker. Hitting some nice looking power moves. Anytime Taker starts to get asny momentum Bradshaw mows him down. Taker hits the Tombstone on Bradshaw but is attacked by Mankind setting off their feud. They must of had plans for Bradshaw because Taker did not pin him. Really good sub ten minute match.

Great Muta vs Ric Flair December 89

This match is setting up the Round Robin tourney at Starrcade 89. The Great Muta is still undefeated at this point. The announcers get across that Flair is more aggressive because he wants to be the one to finally defeat Muta.

This is Flair wrestling as a good guy so the match is a lot different. Muta keeps control of the match. Forcing flair to the mat and switching up submission holds. I love how quickly Muta flows from one submission into the next. No lag time which is what separates the men from the boys on submission wrestling.

I love how Flair makes comebacks. Not superman comebacks like Hogan and Warrior or even Sting and Lex Luger. He just starts firing off before getting taken down again. He is doing a cracker jack job of selling the knee while getting offense. A really nice balance. I should mention I love the WCW commercial bumpers. They take me to a warm and fuzzy place.

Muta wins another exchange hitting a spin kick. Flair tackles Muta with a running double knee into the corner. I guess the proto Elijah Express. Flair starts working over Muta. Attacking the knee and hitting multiple atomic drops. Before Flair can lock on the figure four Dragonmaster attacks for the DQ. Flair puts him in the figure four on the ringside floor. Muta sprays Flair in the eyes with the mist.

Sting vs Scott Hall Uncensored 98
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Three months after Starrcade 98 we finally get Sting's first title defense. Four months after he won the WW3 battle royal Scott Hall gets his title match.

Hall takes the belt and holds it up. Sting snatches it back and starts hitting him. Hall does a great job bumping and selling for Sting. This is a good back and forth match. With Sting getting the best of Hall in every exchange.

Unfortunately it does not feel like a World Title main event. It feels like a nice mid card match. The announcers going on about Hogan and Savage does not help.

Dusty Rhodes is in Scott Hall's corner. Heel Dusty Rhodes attacking Sting is so strange. The biggest near fall Hall gets is when dusty hit the bionic elbow on Sting. The ref was down after getting stinger splasheed by accident. the ref's expression was something. A "Aw hell" then slump to unconsciousness.

Hall goes for the Outsider's edge but Sting reverses to hit the Scorpion Deathdrop.

Sting vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage

Now we have Sting's final defense. This is a no disqualification match. The story here is Hogan not wanting any nWo member himself to be champion. Guess he figured Hall had no chance of actually winning.

I figured Sting and Macho Man would have chemistry and they do. Some nice brawling as they destroy the barn yard set. Tony Schiavonie is becoming disenfranchised as he talks about how dangerous the wagon wheel is and that ot could be used like a discus. Though you could brain a guy with it so the point stands. Sting hits Savage with a bail (is that the way its spelled?) of hay. Tony merntions how it could irritate the skin and sinuses which could affect the wrestlers stamina in the high altitude of Denver. Which I think is a good outside the box observation. Even they never mention a bail of hay is fucking heavy.

Back in the ring you get more back and forth brawling. Sting is working the match like a heel. In a nice call back Sting nearly Stinger splashes the ref but stops himself. Only for Savage to throw him into the referee anyway. Not sure why a no dq match needed a ref bump. Sting then accidentally Splashes longtime the Macho Man's long time manager Miss Elisabeth in the corner.

Sting being a good guy tries to revive her. Only for Macho Man to take out Sting with a chair. Before he can hit the flying elbow Hulk Hogan knocks Savage off the top. Liz is being carried to the back and Savage is concerned. Sting is up andf hits the Scorpion Deathdrop on Savage. We get our second run in when Kevin Nash power bombs Sting and Savage pins him to win the title.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Day of the Omeniac 5: Day of the Office

Another Day at the Office
Sometimes I think it was a mistake to take ownership of W*RE. It was fine when I was minority owner. Johansen had to do this crap, and I could focus on my real business. Being W*RE Planetary Champion and the best wrestler in the world.

My name is Martin "Motor Man" Morris and I'm a professional wrestler. But am I wrestling or on the road traveling to an event? No I'm sitting in a office at Monolith Tower going over contracts and invoices. This energy could be devoted to getting my Planetary Championship back from Todd Ripstone. He stole the belt from me at X-Mas Xrisis in a Three Way Fight with the Monolith.

I had a plan worked out with Ruination X2K (a group of like minded individuals). The newest member was the Wrecker (Sergent Sargent under a hood). He defeated my rival Darren Glass earlier that night. Then he turned on his protege and took the W*RE DEATHcore championship.

Seemed great at the time. No more hiding and another championship to our collection. But he disappeared. We had worked out the plan. If X-ILE and Skull and Deathrock failed he was to come in and take out Monolith. Instead he no shows and I lose my title to Todd Ripstone. No clue where Sergent Sargent is til a a month later when I see him on Combat Collective Wrestling's TV show.

I wish I knew how Johansen manipulated the Championship Committee. He was given free reign to set up any match he pleased. Me I have to gamble my ownership to get an immediate rematch with Ripstone, which I won by count out.
Kept my ownership but I'm out of the Brainbusters Ball rematch. Well not completely true. I was able to get myself put into the Darren Glass vs Monolith number one contender's match Tuesday.

Which I should be training for but instead I'm having to sign a voucher to pay for a Psycho Chicken to get a prostate exam!!! Why does that involve W*RE. Why do I know about Rooster's prostate?!?

"Excuse me Mr.Morris."

"What the hell do you want Wyles?"

"Well sir I was hoping Combat Collective could get an advance on our checks?"

I forgot Johansen set up a working agreement with Claton Wyle's Combat Collective. Didn't know he was giving him money too.

"Why do you need an advance."

"Well sir we had to issue some refund due to some of our wrestlers being injured in Caged Hate and missing some cards."

If I know Wyles he spent the gate receipts on a a whore and has the boys breathing down his neck for their pay checks. I worked in CCW for a month before I got signed by W*RE. Johansen is paying CCW next to nothing and I hate to see guys not get paid. Even CCW psychos.

"Here you go Wyles. Don't ask again."

"Thank you Mr.Morris. I'm sorry to intrude but you look like you are in over your head."

"Yeah Wyles you are intruding and I'm not in over my head. I'll be champion again soon."

"No sir a great athlete like you will beat a meat head like Todd Ripstone. It's just well a great wrestler like you should not be filling out paperwork. You should be training."

Even Clayton Wyles can see I hate this.

"Yeah well this is the price for being owner."

"Well you know sir you could put someone else in charge of this work. Somebody on staff with experience."

"Who? These stooges are all loyal to Johansen. They'd put the knife in me before I could blink."

"What about your Ruination X2K associates?"

"Yeah look I love X-ILE, Skull and Deathrock but they are not exactly the white collar type."

"Well let me just put this out here. What about me?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

I get up and Wyles flinches.

"No sir not at all. I have experience running wrestling promotions."

"Not the issue Wyles. It's that I can't trust you."

"You can sign papers making you and your friends immune from any decisions I make. I'll simply be a office drone."

"What about CCW?"

"It's running so smoothly it doesn't need me. Two of my boys handle day to day. I only needed the advance to cover a temporary cash flow problem."

This is a mistake. I can't trust Clayton Wyles. But if I can't be W*RE champion what's the point of being owner.

"Wyles...... You have a deal."

Andre and Inoue vs Cactus and Texas Terminator

Found this match the other day. I had no idea Cactus Jack ever worked Andre the Giant. Short match but Cactus does a great job selling for Andre. Andre gets to do the double stuff shoulder block. Cactus takes a back drop on the floor. Andre hits the boot and elbow for three. Fun match between guys I thought had never interacted.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sting vs Samoa Joe

I've been interested in seeing this for awhile. I remember catching parts of the build up and thinking it was good. Even if it was TNA.

The match takes place in Chicago and the crowd is really hot for this. The story is Sting has played hero one time too many and Joe has his number. Joe kicks Sting's ass for the entire match. At one point Joe does a flying dropkick over the balcony andf it looks crazy. Sting leaps off a row of chairs onto Joe.

The crowd brawling is not much. Too much dragging in a headlock and not enough brawling. But once they get in the ring it really picks up. against better judgment I get invested in the match. I wonder how sting can beat Joe when nothing has worked.

Eventually Sting hulks up. Which Sting does better than anybody. Joe's reaction was right for him. He looks scared for a second then goes back on the attack. Sting has the advantage until Joe takes him down again.

Being TNA we have to have a runin and Kevin Nash walks to the ring. Sting is desperate now and grabs the bat. Nash takes it away from him, saying he needs to beat Joe alone. Okay that added to the drama. Then seconds later Nash hits Joe with the bat and sting hits the Deathdrop for three.

I don't know who this finish helped. It made Sting look like shit for slipping on a banana peel to win and joe looked bad going down so fast after dominating. I understand the need to get the Main Event Mafia angle going. But there were far better ways to do it.

The Implausible Yet True Stories of Ransom Fortune "Cock of the Walk"

The Implausible Yet True Stories of Ransom Fortune
"Cock of the Walk"

I'm playing a gig with my band Sitting Wolf at the Sheephole Inn.Over
eight people tonight, our largest crowd yet. Suddenly Gerry Go Berry the Base player stops playing.

"Gerry whats wrong? why did you stop playing?"

Gerry throws the guitar down and it shatters like glass. He rips his face off and I see it. The Green and black hockey mask. Doomsmith found me. I try to run but he grabs me by the throat.


"Senor please you are hurting Miguel."

I'm holding a Mexican child by the throat.

"Many apologies children."

"No need to apologize Senor, we were concerned as you were asleep
behind this dumpster and this is not a safe neighborhood."

Asleep in another alley. I thought after meeting with my mentor
Palisades Finale I could finally return to my life. Instead I cross the
border into Mexico. Sleep in another alley. Have another nightmare
about Doomsmith. One night I dreamed I was at my mothers funeral
and he emerged from the casket and chokeslammed me into a furnace.

"Senor Fortune we would like to show you around our neighborhood. It
is not every day a famous celebrity visits."

"Sure kids no problem."

Walking around and looking at this poverty tells me how fortunate so
many of us are. Ransom Note Industries support many charities but it
never seems to be enough. I personally cook thanksgiving for poor
families in LA. But not every day is Thanksgiving. It is every
day life that is the struggle.

"Manny look who it is. It is Ransom Fortune."


"But Manny you love Ransom Fortune. You saw Fortune Soldier 3
twenty times.

"Pecky is gone. Pecky Connor is gone sniff."

"Who is Pecky?"

"That is his pet rooster.He has had him since before he was born."

"I know the bad men took him like all the other chickies."

"Manny you do not know that."

"I do do I do I do......."

Little dude just ran inside crying.

"Say kids how bout I go look for Pecky."

"But Senor you are just a athlete, musician, movie star, chef, diplomat,
talk show host and occasional columnist for Time magazine. How will
you be able to find Pecky and fight the banditos?"

"You leave that to me little guys."

So I put on another hat. That of detective. I think of what Wristlock
Holmes would do. He would talk to other people who have been robbed of
their poultry. Well for most of them the chicken they lost were not pets.

Some were food and some were for cock fighting. Can't say I approve of
cock fighting. I might run a chain of fried chicken restaurants but they are treated humanely and not killed for blood lust.

The robberies only seem to be occurring in this area. Best thing to do is
set up a trap. I take the last 100 dollars I earned doing day labor up in
LA and buy a fighting cock. I put it out in the Sanchez's yard and I wait.

Around five AM I see some youngish looking guy come up and grab the
chicken. Does not even have a car just a basket on a bike. Be easy enough to keep up with him on foot.

I get to what looks like an abandoned chicken plant. I sneak inside and
what I see sickens me. These animals are being cut open or injected
with chemicals. On the other side is a dojo full of chickens........

Training to fight....... One rooster just did what looks like a suplex to
another then stabs it with a rubber safety talon. Before I can step in
and stop this I lose consciousness.


Owww my head hurts. Someone was able to blind side me and gave me
a big knot on the back of my head.

"Well well well. If it isn't Ransom Fortune. Never thought in a million
years I would see you here."

"Do I know you?"

"Don't suppose a legend like you would. I'm Harry Acorn, I was the
Champion of Altoona Championchip wrestlin in Altoona Alabama."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"No why would you remember one of the people you ruined. My ACW
was top of the heap once.drawing fifty or heck even sixty fans a week.

Why at Altoonafest 77 we drew 100 fans. Well 99 but my mom was
selling soda and that made 100."

"Untie me now. You will not like it if I free myself."

"I would a like to see you try, that there is genuine Mexican clothing rope."

Getting mad I can feel my blood pumping. Soon I would have my hands
around his neck. But for now I want to see where this goes.

"So how was I did I ruined you."

"Not just you but that Sergent Sargent,that Tyranos, that Elvis
Wrestley all of you in WAVE ruined me. People said my wrestlin was
cheap on accounta me being 5ft1. Even the ones who hated WAVE just
watched that AWOL and that fancy $extillion $inclaire."

"Look buddy can you explain how this leads to me being tied up in an
abandoned chicken plant/cock fighting dojo?"

"Well I figured if I came to Mexico the competition in them Lucha
Leagues would be easier. But they would not use me and the ones that
did put me in the mini division. I was stuck in Mexico. But that is
when I discovered cock fighting. I mean sure we had that sorta thing in
Alabama. But here it is an art form and I became the top cockfight
promoter south of the border."

Oh for the love of god.

"But I knew if I wanted to over take WAVE and W*RE I needed bigger
cocks, stronger cocks, cocks that could go all day and all night. Cocks
that could take a beating."

Okay I've heard enough and I snap the ropes.

"Alright you worm I've had it with you. I want all these cocks freed
right now!!!"

As I'm about to grab him by the throat I hear something. The guy who
hit me with the pipe earlier. Thought he could take down Ransom
Fortune the same way twice. I duck and clobber the kid with the
Fortune Teller. Kid is out cold, I used too much force. He's wearing a
cheap Hellitosis knock off mask. I turn my attention to Harry Acorn
but I feel something go in my back. Its a tranq dart.

"You gotta be kidding me. My super vitamins are stronger than this!!!!"

I knock Harry out with a right cross but not before getting hit with five
more darts.

"Oh motherfu........"


I wake up again. this time I'm in the arena. Wearing some sorta loin
cloth. I can hear the announcer speaking in Spanish.

"Senors and Senoritas we welcome you to super fight of the century.
WAVE vs BattleCocks!!!!"


"In the ring he is the WAVE Omniversal Champion Ransom

I'm fighting a chicken. Trying to process this, when music starts with strobe lights and fireworks.

"From Hell's Nest Satanico El Pollo!!!!!!"

My god that is the biggest cock I have ever seen. A five foot five 300
pound rooster comes thru the curtain. It is wearing a devil's lucha
mask. It has giant metal talons. .


The cock tackles me into the wall. I put it in a front face lock and start
hitting it in the back with overhead clubbing blows. The cock grabs me
by my shorts and suplexes me. I don't know what they did to this
thing. Looks like it got pumped with every bit of steroids and HGH the
country of Mexico could supply.


Arrgghhhh.... While I was feeling pity this thing tried to eviscerate me.
This is a death match. I do not want the last memory of me to be dieing from being penetrated by a giant cock. I hit the thing with a big foot to the face. Followed by several punches. The creature is bleeding and It's beak is broken now.

It flies at me with both talons out but I narrowly escape at the last
second. One of its talons is stuck in the wall. I run and hit it with the
Fortune Teller. The cock's foot is freed from the talon. I notice the foot
has a black birth mark on it. As it struggles to get off the ground. It is
ready to lunge at me again but I hit it with my Ransom Note knee

I look at it mangled and suffering. I can tell it is on the verge of a
massive heart attack. Letting it live like this would be cruel. I free its
lost talon from the wall and cut its throat quickly.
The bell does not ring but I see Harry Acorn holding his video camera
trying to get away. The anger in me is rising.




He hits me with his camcorder but I don't feel it. I hit him with the
Fortune Teller and he collapses in a bloody heap. His workers are
actually cheering me on. I hit him with the Ransom Note. I consider
giving him the same fate as Satan the Chicken but living his life is punishment enough.


I return the chickens to their rightful owners. Except for the ones that were
involved in cockfighting.

"Where is Pecky, Senor Fortune?"

"You mean he's not here?"

"No my Pecky had a black birthmark on her foot."

I'm not going to tell the child the whole story. I just explained it died.

"I hate you Ransom Fortune, I hate you!!!!"

I give the family all the money I took from Harry Acorn. More than
enough for the family to live comfortably for the next few years.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day of the Omeniac 3: New WAVE

A New W.A.V.E

Things are finally going my way again. Of course that is not a surprise, I am Jerome Johansen. I was just going thru a rough patch.
Martin Morris caught me when I was at my weakest. I'll admit it my war with Ike Simmons took a lot out of me. Then that damn Sergent Sargent entered my promotion. Him and Morris were in a conspiracy to drive me crazy. Cost me so much money to fix this. The cage alone was close to a million dollars. I lost so much of my undercard to injuries. But its okay X-Mas Xrisis made the money back and something wonderful happened.

Morris lost the W*RE Planetary championship. Once Monolith won number one contendership my plan was set in motion. Todd Ripstone getting put into the match was a bonus. Todd actually winning was not a part of my plan. But I knew I could deal with Todd. One of my most loyal wrestlers. Ever since him and Brent joined W*RE in 1988 and brought me the WAVE tag team championship.

One thing I knew about Morris was despite his claims of being a brilliant tactician he is actuaally a petulant impatient child. I knew as owner he would attempt to order Ripstone to grant an immediate rematch. I instructed Todd to refuse. He has thirty days to grant Morris a rematch. Morris just could not wait til Brainbusters Ball to get his rematch. He had to get a rematch right away. So I made him a deal. He would get his rematch on R*PPED if he put up his 52% ownership. The idiot did not think twice.

But Morris won the match. He won the damn match. Only solace I can take is he won by count out and did not regain the W*RE championship. Outside the ring Darren Glass attacked Morris and gave him the Glass Eater on the floor. That idiot cost me control of my company. To add injury to insult he gave me the Glass Slipper. I can barely walk.

"Hello Jerome."

"Do I know you?"

"I'm Kevin.Bunkle this is Beaumont Networks Vice President Jeff Mills."

"Is that suppose to impress me?"

"We were on the WAVE board of directors together?"

"Sorry you boys all look alike to me. Who the hell allowed you in my building?"

"Before you throw us out please listen to our offer?"


"We want you to work for WAVE again as Ultimate Czar of Programing Affairs."

Are these guys serious?

"Look Kevin maybe you are slow but I am a competitor to WAVE."

"We know that but Jeff and I know you are a business man. We are prepared to make you an incredible offer that allows you to keep W*RE while running WAVE."

I am ready to have the Dinos escort these two out using the scenic route when I change my mind."

"Tell me why is WAVE desperate enough to offer me a job. Unless you tell me I'm having two of my boys escort you out."

The shorter one with the baseball cap speaks up.

"Well Mr.Johansen WAVE has a relationship with the Beaumont networks going back twenty five years. But recently ratings have suffered. Ransom Fortune lost his championship to a man named Doomsmith. We have title matches every week now but ratings are still shrinking. Mr.Beaumont always enjoyed his dealings with you when you were running WAVE's television shows in the 80's. He instructed us to sign you."

Well well the Big Grey Cheese has stepped in. Ron Beaumont is the closest thing WAVE has ever had to an owner. Even if it is not in an official capacity,. I only met him twice and it made me sick. The fat overstuffed windbag. I longed for the day I could take him down.

"I would need unlimited authority."

"Well uh um listen Jerome that might not be doable."

"Shut up Kevin. Of course Mr.Johansen you would have unlimited authority."

"I want ten percent of WAVE's gross profit on pay per views."

"Now wait one damn second Johansen!!!!"

"Kevin you were only brought along because you claimed to be friends with this man. Ten percent is fine on top of your salary of course and a private office at the BBN Center."

"No office I do not want my involvement made public until I say so."

"Of course Mr.Johansen."

"Mr.Mills you have yourself a deal."

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day of the Omeniac 2: Unfortunate Finale



NO! Where am I? Oh yeah I fell asleep in this alley. It has been six months since I lost my Omniversal title. Six months since my world changed.

"Ransom you can't do this. You need to release this album. You signed a contract with the record company. They gave you a very large advance payment."

"Fine give em a blank check. Money doesn't matter, the album doesn't matter, the movies don't matter."

"But what about your chain of Ransom Fortune "Burger Buffet Bonanza restaurants? We need you to do promotion and oversee the new menu."

"Let somebody else do it I'm gone."

I walked out of Fortune Tower that day without a penny in my pocket I traveled all over America. It was not what I intended but I ended up helping people. In Detroit I prevented the closing of a auto factory by helping them cut down on expenses without losing employees. In Texas I saved a kid from being beat to death by a mob. In Alabama I saved a farm from being foreclosed on by finding a legal loophole.

Eventually I felt the need to leave North America and ended up in Asia. I shut down a sweat shop in Taiwan and a child porn ring in Thailand. It was run by a local kickboxing champion. But no matter how many people I help. The dreams still come once my eyes shut. The metal gauntlet hits me in the face and I see a nightmare in green and black holding what I dedicated my life to.

So I said farewell to the kids after making sure they were in proper homes. It was time for me to return to my roots. It was time to find Palisades Finale.


Palisades Finale was the man who saved my life. I was working as a bank teller, a longshoreman, and a drummer in five local bands and I was miserable. I was playing a gig in Tampa with Vomit Horn. Not A packed house. The lead singer was sick so I took his place. I see this huge bald man with a multicolor goatee and a Hawaiian shirt staring a hole thru me. Next day at the bank he comes to my window to deposit a 10,000 dollar check. Finally I see him at the docks. I go confront him.

"Why are you following me pal?"

"Why? Why does the sun shout? Why does the moon hide? Why are you wasting your potential like this?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Daddy I felt your power all the way from Sacramento. It cried out to me baby. It was aching to be released. During my match with Manson Toros it almost knocked me off the tower of power. I knew if I did not find you I was never going to get any peace baby."

"Wait yeah I do know you. You're Palisades Finale. You were the WON heavyweight Champion for over a year. You beat Byrne Bernard in Maryland."

"Good baby you know me. That is half the battle daddy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you are going to be Finale's protege."

Palisades trained me himself. He showed me proper weight training. He showed me how to pose. The posing was important it was how you defeat your opponent before the bell even rings. Most importantly he showed me how to unlock the power of me.

He brought in people to help with things. He brought in Dr.Jerry Glass to teach me submission wrestling. Mighty Mandril to teach me brawling. The Flying Maurice to teach me finesse. Even if I never became a high flyer it taught me how to deal with it.

Three years later I made my debut in that tiny TV studio in Nashville. Not my greatest match but I won when I made Tom Rourke submit to a bearhug. After that I wrestled everywhere. Palisades would get the main events and I would take the undercard. Things were great til I got the shot at the Arkansas Grand Prix champion the Masked Confederate. I came to the back after losing. Confederate put something in his mask and knocked me out with a headbutt. When I got to the back he was gone. I never saw him again.

I'm at the address now. This is just a tin shack in the ghetto. I must of gotten the wrong address. Before I can leave the door opens.

"Been a long time brother come on in and see the king in his castle."


"Why did you leave that night in Little Rock?"

"Baby my work was done. You had surpassed me. My power was bleeding out daddy?"

"What do you mean bleeding out?"

"Look brother there is only so much of this energy goin around you dig? Once you passed me by that was it for Finale. The stronger you became the weaker I got."

"Palisades that makes no sense."

"Brother why do you think i was doin that kung fu nonsense? Because
I could not be the Finale to every girl's dream and every man's nightmare. I had to use a short cut like a washed up pitcher using Vaseline on a knuckle ball."

"Yeah I dig brother."

"I know why you're here daddy. Even without cable, news travels fast. These kids in the housin projects told me all about it baby. That Doomsmith he defeated you overseas an took yo title."


"What do you think I can do for you?"

"I was thinking you could take me back to where I started. Train me again. WAVE won't give me a rematch. I can't speak with any of the directors. Doomsmith is destroying everything I worked for."

"Daddy I gave you everything I had. Look where I live!!!!" Look at my body? I was once cut from granite like Mikey Angel himself sculpted me but it is all gone brother!!! I have to use a cane to walk to my damn door. All my wrestlin memories were sold just to get a brother high."

"I'm sorry Palisades this was a mistake."

"No baby it was not a mistake. Because Palisades can give you one more thing. Look at me and look at yourself."

Palisades gets out of his old easy chair and slowly walks over to me.


"Take that with you Ransom Fortune and get the hell away from me!!!!!"

I know what I need to do and I leave Sacramento that night. But not before I set up a trust fund for Palisades Finale.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Post 500!!!! Day of the Omeniac Day 1

Its Legion of The Damned's 500th post. I started this blog as a way to share what I like and love without a filter. Hope you enjoy it.


After I finished Savage Sports Stories in January. I still had ideas for various characters in the Overdog world but no big idea for a story. One idea was giving an origin for the Omeniac. Unlike Chairshot or Savage Sports Stories, each entry in Day of the Omeniac will be self contained. Hope you enjoy it.

Day of the Omeniac
Written by Victor Rodgers

Another busy day at the office. Well that is not true. Enrollement has slowed down greatly. I have not been on tv in a long time. Wrestling promoters are not to be trusted. Far too often they expect to pick the pockets of those who produce.



"I'm sorry sir, I mean Omeniac."

"Yes what is it Mrs.Carridale?"

"The clothing manufacturer is on line 2. He wants to make good on the misprinted sweat shirts."

"Very good Mrs.Carridale,"

Oh the drudgery of this. I am not meant to be a businessman. I am meant to be a soldier, a fighter, a warrior. At the very least I should be a teacher. But the longer I am not on television the lower enrollment gets. I had hoped some of my graduates would have gotten to WAVE or W*RE to help spread the word. Instead the best have ended up in a place called the Combat Collective. I suspect this Wyles character only signed them in the hopes of getting me to compete there.

It has been so long since I have competed I fear I am losing my connection to the Word. I have grown out my hair and only wear the paint on special occasions. I still remember when I first learned of my destiny to become the Omeniac.

It was 1986 and I had just been signed to WAVE. I was not yet the Omeniac. I was a professional wrestler named the Americommander. I was very patriotic at the time. I dressed like Uncle Sam in a star spangled wrestling singlet. Before I realized such things were blasphemy.

I was so young and enthusiastic. A man named Johansen signed me. I got to the arena for the tv taping excited for competition. I could not find out who I was competing against until I was in the ring. I saw a man about my height with an excellent build standing in the ring. He had a blond flat top with a red stripe down the middle. His name was Flash Dansan.

I assumed he was to be my opponent but the referee told me he was my partner. Partner? I was never told I would be in a tag team match. But I was wrong for it was no mere tag team we were to face but....

"Hailing from Olympus at a weight of 500 pounds Tyranos the Titan!!!!!!!"

Never before or since was I to experience a fear of that magnitude. I had seen what he had done to other competitors. Why just a month before I watched a video cassette of him pinning Ransom Fortune in a tag team match. He had a full white beard and fierce mane of hair like I imagine Odin himself to possess. He was a good foot taller than me and and I am no small man. His every footstep put more fear into my heart.

"Hey buddy listen up. We need to attack Tyranos while he is stepping over the top rope. It's our only chance."

While ambushing an enemy was a violation of my code I knew Flash was correct. As Tyranos stepped over the top rope we attacked. We swarmed him with punches, axe handles and chops. It appeared our plan was working until he knocked Flash unconscious with a single headbutt and heaved him over the top rope with ease.

My heart filled with terror but I used my fear to drive me. I charged toward him at full speed only to run into his size 30 boot.

I then went temporarily blind after seeing a brilliant light. I then heard an alien voice.


"I I am just the AmeriCommander......"


"m,,,,my real name is Hank Gordon."


As he said this my vision returned to me. I could not believe my newly restored sight. I saw a golden deity a million times larger than Tyranos. He had thousands of tentacles and arms. Arms larger and more developed than even Ransom Fortune could dream to have. He had four heads. One a fairly normal but stern man, the other an Indian madman, a blond narcissist and a rough looking Italian.

It pained me to look at them as I knew I was unworthy.



I woke up in the locker room a bloody pulp. I looked in the mirror and saw my blood had smeared into the symbol The being had cast upon me. From that dsy forward I was the Omeniac.

"Mr.Gordon um I mean Omeniac there is a Jerome Johansen waiting to see you."

"Send him in."

Thursday, April 07, 2011

499 Windham Edition

Barry Windham vs Dusty Rhodes Great American Bash 1988

I watched this a couple of years ago and had some problems with it at the time. Watching it now I see I was full of poop. This feud started after Barry Windham betrayed Lex Luger to join the Horsemen. Dusty came off suspension (He beat NWA president Jim Crockett with a baseball bat.) and was upset his protege Windham joined his most hated enemy.

So we get a match set for the 1988 Great American Bash. Which is a great name for a pay per view. If you want to know if Dusty is booking you'll notice the names of everything improves greatly.

So we get to the match. Dusty gets the better of Barry right away. Barry retreats to the floor before Dusty can gain much momentum. He comes back in and catches Dusty with an elbow. Barry charges him and Dusty hits him with a Gorilla press slam. Dusty then climbs to the top and hits a flying body press. Which looks like a dude getting a vending machine dropped on them.

Barry gains control with some well timed kicks and punches. Dusty goes to the floor Barry goes for a piledriver and takes a crazy looking back drop to the concrete. The Baltimore Arena is crazy here. Its hard to believe Jim Crockett Promotions was dieing when you see how alive the fans are on TV.

Barry comes back in and takes down Dusty again with a flurry of punches. Dusty retreats to the floor and Barry follows him. He tries to sling shot Dusty from the apron back into the ring. Dusty blocks and throws Barry out to the floor. Barry takes crazy bumps off everything. Dusty slams Barry on the concrete.

As Barry recovers Dusty is distracted by JJ Dillon. Barry runs in and ambushes Dusty. He picks up Dusty for a bodyslam. Barry has the slamming a big fat guy down. Now he is ready for the CLAW.

Now this is the part I did not care for originally. At the time i thought it was a Dusty ego thing. But this is strictly a Barry Windham deal. Barry likes to work the holds. So he really works the CLAW here. With Dusty doing teases of escaping. Dusty seems to Hulk Up. But the This goes on for a few minutes. Barry works the CLAW.

Every time Dusty is on the verge of escaping Barry puts the pressure back on.Dusty climbs a turnbuckle but before he can drop the elbow Barry pulls him down and puts the CLAW back on. Now if you're wondering why the hold was not broken by the referee, that is just a Crockett thing.

Dusty fights out of it. Hits three elbows and knocks Barry down breaking the hold. He goes for the figure four and Barry locks the CLAW back on.

Dusty gets back to the turnbuckle. He is on top and starts hitting Barry. Barry shuts him down and climbs up to do the Superplex. Dusty knocks him off the turnbuckle and Barry takes out the referee.

Now they are on even terms. Dusty drops the elbow but Barry moves. Barry is heading up top but Dusty catches him and hits a Super Slam off the top. Dusty runs over and finally drops the Bionic Elbow...... But the referee is still down.

Dusty is looking for the referee. When Ronnie Garvin comes in. Before Dusty can say anything he gets knocked out by the hand of stone. Barry locks back on the CLAW and the recovered referee counts three.

Barry Windham vs Lex Luger Chi Town Rumble 1989

Barry Windham vs Lex Luger Chi Town Rumble by Moonshame

Barry and Lex had been tag team champions in 1988. Until Barry betrayed Luger to join the Horsemen. Lex went on to feud with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair while Barry defended the United States Championship against the likes of Dusty Rhodes, Sting,Bam Bam Bigelow and Eddie Gilbert. Lex lost his final match with Flair at Starrcade. So now he wants to settle the score with Barry Windham.

The match starts with both men trying to gain an advantage. But it remains even until Luger misses a flying body press. Barry presses the advantage until he hits a turnbucle outside the ring. Barry does a great job selling this. Since its his right hand he keeps trying to throw punches but each time it puts him in pain. He tries to get his CLAW glove off to relieve the pressure. His hand is bleeding.

This is important because punches are an important part of Barry Windham matches. Not in the WWF main eventer way. More in the way each punch changes the course of the match. He can be losing but land a solid right and regain control.

Barry is trying to find alternatives to punching. Mainly kicking Lex in the gut. He goes for a back elbow but that hurts too. He gets the Clasw but it hurts too much so he has to let go.

The hand goes numb and Barry starts landing some rights. I like how he hits the powerslam here. It looks sloppier than normal. Great job selling the pain. He puts Lex up top ready to finish him with a superplex. He slugs Lex with a right and he recoils in pain. He climbs up and falls down he is hurting so much. This is great stuff.

He finally hits the Superplex but it is not your normal crisp Barry Windham Superplex. Its sloppier, a sturggle to hit. It takes him too long to get the cover and Lex kicks out.

Barry backdrop suplexes Luger and Luger gets his shoulder up before three and wins the match. Barry is pissed. He attacks Lex with the belt post match and hits a nasty looking piledriver. This was it seems to set up a series of rematches. But Jim Herd fucked up negotiations with Barry and by summer he was in the WWF.

Barry "Widow Maker" Windham vs Gary Wolfe

Barry Windham vs Gary "Pitbull #1" Wolfe by Moonshame
This is a squash match from 1989.Gary Wolfe is Pitbull #1 of ECW fame. Barry attacks him right away hitting a sweet looking powerslam and forearm smash. Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon have some fun bantering. With Jesse giving tips to the kids about going for the eyes and hair in a fight. They also heavily tease a match between Barry and World Wrestling Federation Champion Hulk Hogan. Its a shame that never happened. Its a shame in general how Barry was wasted at the peak of his powers. From 1986 to 1990, I don't think there was a single wrestler better than Barry Windham.