10.
"No you listen to me you rice eating MOTHER FUCKER!!!!! I was the god damn Omniversal Champion for three fucking years!!!! So don't you tell me what being a champion is about!!!!! I will defend the fucking belt against whatever gook you find and I'll kick his fucking ass!!!!! Oh does me sayin gook offend you. GOOK....GOOK...GOOK!!!! If you bother me again on my day off, I'll bury your rinky dink belt so far in the earth you'll have to get your fat ugly wife to sniff it out!!!!"
Slammed the phone down. The nerve of that bastard to tell me I have to defend the VWL belt. I'm Sergent Sargent. I beat Tyranos the Titan. I broke attendance records. My toys were so popular, moms got trampled trying to buy em for their kids.
I don't have to worry about this scene much longer anyway. I'll be back in America with an eager young protege. Took what was left of my savings to get an airline ticket and a ticket to that Valley of the Brawls show. Jesus who names these things. What happened to just plain wrestling at the Garden or the Omni or wherever it was I wrestled.
Get up outta this chair and god my knee is still killing me. That cheating little shit, Lightning Lord. That hold fucked my knee but good.
"YO ARMY!!!!!"
"Yeah what is it Richie."
"God Damn it Army, I told you not to call me that."
"And I told you to stop casually saying gook."
"Yeah yeah whatever ya fat gook. My knee is fucking killing me. Need you to pull it back into place."
"Man Rich I'm telling you, that is doing serious damage to your knee. You need to get surgery."
"I can't get surgery right now. I gotta be mobile if I want to get back into the big time."
"Are you sure this will even work? Just because he was in the Sergent Sargent Horse Power fan club don't mean he will make you his trainer."
"You leave that to me Army. Trust me, this will work."
Arrrggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! One Man Army is wrenching my leg back into place and it is agony. Yeah I know what you are thinking. Why is Sergent Sargent best pals with his arch enemy?
Well number one, you shut the fuck up and show me respect and number two he ain't my best pal. Turns out in NAM, I shot his mom or brother or favorite goat. Whatever I had a mission. Anyway he saw me wrestling on TEE VEE a little after I started going by Sergent Sargent. He cuts his hair into a mohawk and called himself the One Man Army.
I'm wrestling in this TV studio in Memphis Tennessee, beating up some loser who works at a chicken plant during the week. Well I'm beating on him and having fun when I'm attacked. At first I think it is a fan, but this guy hits way too hard to be a fan. He takes out a spike and carves me up. I am bleeding like a stuck pig. We set an attendance record at the Mid South Coliseum.
I thought that was the end of it. But I'm wrestling in LA and beating up some nobody who delivers pizzas and I'm attacked again. It's that fat gook with the mohawk. Before he can carve me up this time. I punch him in the throat and cut him with my bayonet. Well we feud for over six months. We have every kinda match. Straps, cages, ladders, chains. You name it and we fought in it. But I beat him in the final cage match. set a record at the Cow palace in San Francisco. I'm thinking that is finally the end of the One Man Army. But two years later he attacks me when I'm Omniversal champion.
Well you can see the pattern. He hates me and I hate him. Well I hate everybody but he got near the top of the list.
Then one night in 92. I beat him in this shithole armory in Pennsylvania. Our plane was delayed. We somehow start talking. I mean really talking. I get the sob story about his dad ditching him in his hut. But then I find out he was drafted into the Vietcong army. That he hated the military as much as I do. Not that I like the son of a bitch. Anyway soon enough the promoters stopped booking me in the States and Japan. Army said there was lots of money to be made in Vietnam. Been here ever since.
"There Richie it should hold a bit longer. You need to see a doctor."
"Yeah and you need to lose some weight. I need some more pills. Booze ain't cutting it."
RIIINNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Well who the fuck is that?
"Hello, oh yeah, listen I'm sorry about earlier, that is a terrible term to use. You folks have been so good to me, I dunno what I was thinking. Yeah book the baseball stadium. You know I'll be there. Tell your wife I said hello."
"Hey Army forget the pills. Go get some shovels."
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