36.
Whereisit? Whereisit? WHEREISIT?!?!?! I can't find my belt. Oh god I can't find my belt. Ransom Fortune never lost his belt. I don't mean lose it to somebody. I mean lose the actual belt.
"What's the matter with you kid?"
Ohmanohmanohman I can't let Sarge find out. He was the Omniversal champion for crying out loud. I can't embarrass him like this.
"Uh oh uhuhuhuhuh nothing uh oh uh Sarge."
"You're sure? You look jumpier than the night that thunder storm knocked out the apartment's power."
"Uh uh oh uh um oh I'm just nervous about my title defenses the rest of the week. That uh SAWdust is scary."
"Right kid."
****
Kid has lost his belt. That is the only thing that could make him act like this. I once lost the Omniversal belt after a drunken night. But I found it fast enough. Whore gave it back since it was impossible to pawn.
But the kid ain't the drinking and whoring type. No something is up.
****
"Scissormask Scissormask!!!!! Have you seen my belt?"
"Hey Overdog.Your belt is missing?"
"Yeah I got back and it was gone. Wait why did you not insult me?"
"Life is too short. Anyway if I see it I'll let you know."
"Uh thanks Scissormask."
Scisormask did not seem right. But I have to find my belt. Oh God where is it!?!?! Hey it's the chickens.
"Guys guys have you seen my belt?"
"You sqawk lost your belt?"
"No I uh just misplaced it."
Okay okay I need to calm down. I know it was in my bag. The thing is really heavy and I would not take it out before I got to the building. But who would take it?
"What are you doing here?"
Oh no it's Diamond Phil. Oh man if he finds out I lost my belt he'll kill me...... Probably.
"Um nothing Phil I'm just enjoying the show."
"You're suppose to be in the ring right now."
I look at a monitor and sure enough I'm in the ring with the House of Bleach.
****
"Johansen!!!"
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I want to know what you did with Overdog's DEATHcore title?"
"Look......Sergent just because I can't get rid of you yet does not mean you can barge in my office."
"Oh is that so Johansen?!?"
I throw his desk over and put him in the SARGElock.
"I warned you Johansen. I would make 88 seem like a dream come true!!!"
"And I told you ugh.... I'm not the same man I was in 88."
I get attacked by that DinoWAR team. Think I'm in it now.
****
"We would like to welcome the newest member of our family, THE W*RE DEATHcore champion OVERDOG!!!!!!"
That is Bleached Evil talking to somebody dressed like me and wearing my belt. He is surrounded by Bingwen, the team Freefall, Roxi Contin and their newest valet Crystal Beth and.........Violator. Think I get it now.
"Overdog would you like to say a few words."
"Bleached Evil it is such an honor to be accepted into such a prestigious group."
I grabbed the mic.
"That's enough!!!"
"What are you doing with my belt?"
"Your belt? You're just a deluded impostor. I'm Overdog and I'm the W*RE DEATHcore champion."
Look at him he does not even look like me. His mask is just a cheap knock off he got from Wrestleshack.com. He is wearing plain orange boots and trunks over black tights. His hair is bright red!!! How can anybody believe this is me.
"Gimme my belt now or else....."
Bleached Evil speaks up.
"Or else what Greg?"
"Or else this!!!!"
I hit the fake Overdog as hard as I can. I throw powder in Dynabul's face and throw him into Bingwen and Johnny Cocaine. Violator swings at me, I duck and hit the Overkiller on him. I grab the impostor and but before I can hit the Overkiller, Bleached Evil attacks. He hits me with the Bleach Blast. Bingwen kicks me in the head. Freefall hit the Overdose on me. Violator hits me with a Parking Violation.
Now the fake Overdog hits me with a DDT. Now Bleached Evil is counting the pin fall.
"ONE!!!!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!!!!!! The winner and the true article OVERDOG!!!!"
I hear the fans cheer when I hear the clang of a steel chair. Sarge just smashed a chair over Violator's head. Rest of the House scatter and run.
"Are you okay son?"
No comments:
Post a Comment